Day 10 - I need help!

I've just been 'ordered' to go on a works drinks/dinner thing on 4 April in Newcastle. Now, not drinking I can get away with the old 'i'm on antibiotics' lie but what do I do at the restaurant?? I don't want any of my colleagues, especially my boss, to know that I'm doing LL. Has anyone got any tips for me? Should I just get a green salad or something? I'm gutted cos I thought I'd get away without going but it seems that I won't...I REALLY don't want to spoil my diet!

Day 9

Today is a good day. My two year old daughter made me an easter basket at nursery, filled with chocolate eggs. What did I do with them? I gave her a couple and threw the rest in the bin. Feeling very saintly right now :-)

I'm going to go to the pop in session on saturday because I NEED to swap my nut (using the term loosely, there) bar for something else. I've had two toffee ones and although there are too sweet, they're something almost edible which I can CHEW! I wonder if the bars slow down the weight loss because they contain more carbs? I guess I'll find out when I get on the scale.

My mum is finding the CD very hard and she's just on day two. She feels hungry so I gave her the 'think of it as a hill you have to climb' spiel and she said she'd try. She keeps looking in the mirror to drum it into herself why she's doing the diet.

I heard from my american friend today. I lived in Atlanta for 10 months and became very good friends with Angela. We were like sisters from the word go and people often thought we were as we're the same height, weight, hair colour etc. Now she tells me she's lost 30lbs through diet and exercise! I haven't told her I'm doing LL so hopefully one day soon I can tell her the same thing - nothing like a bit of healthy competition!

Hope you're all having a good day and drinking plenty!

Day 8

Feeling a bit fed up today after last night's high - not sure why. Have been surfing the net looking at clothes I will be able to wear this summer - it's SO hard not to buy anything, though. I keep thinking (stupidly) that all the nice stuff will be gone by the time I've lost the weight. Yes, yes, I know that shops restock every week - maybe LL is making me think irrational thoughts!

I have nothing at all planned for the weekend and we are a bit skint at the moment so not sure what we can do - any suggestions ladies? We just have my daughter (2) with us this weekend - Ella is at her mums, so what can we do that's fun, interesting and cheap with a 2 year old that won't bore the grown ups? Can't believe I'm planning the weekend so early - must be to take my mind off food. For some reason, I feel hungry today. It's probably because I only had 3 packs yesterday due to sawdustgate - I really can't imagine that anything would make that thing taste nicer, not even if it was dipped in thick chocolate!!

I had a choc shake for breakfast this morning - was yummy in the blender with ice. I'll try that as a hot choc tonight, I think.

I've been getting a funny taste in my mouth - kind of metallic/blood taste - is that the bad breath that we've been warned about? I haven't asked Dean to smell my breath these last couple of days but I can definitely taste the difference in my mouth. I've got some Retardex breath spray from Boots to try and combat it.

I'm just babbling - hope you all have a great day!

Day 7 - weigh in result

I lost 8lbs! I'm over the moon with that after my lapse on Sunday. Over the moon as well as relieved :-) I'm really motivated to do this plan and can't wait for the day I'll finally be happy with my weight.

A sour point of the evening was that I finally got my hands on some bars and thought - I'll have that when I get in. I had the nut one and oh my goodness - it is FOUL. It's like eating sawdust except that I'm sure sawdust would taste nicer. I had to throw it away after one bite - gross.

We did the exercise where you had to say what kind of animal, colour, vehicle, famous person you felt like. I said I felt like a jellyfish - wobbly, out of shape and all over the place. The LLC said 'do you also feel like people shouldn't touch you, too?'. And yes, I do. I often wonder how my bf can find me attractive whilst I'm so blobby - he still maintains that he loves me and finds me sexy etc and his sex drive certainly hasn't decreased since we've been together but mine has. I just feel unsexy at the moment and can't understand why he thinks I still am sexy. I learned tonight that I'm very lucky to have him. Another lady at my group - she started tonight - said that her bf was the opposite. Her bf tells her she is very unattractive and that she's very lazy to have let herself go and that he can't touch her. Thing is, she's only a size 16 and extremely pretty!!! I couldn't keep my big gob shut - I said she should kick him out! What a git. Anyway, I hope this plan will give her the confidence she needs to do that. He sounds like a massive pain in the A.

I hope you all had a good day x

Day 7 part 2

I went with my mum to her first Cambridge Diet appointment - v different to the LL session. No counselling - just handing over the food packs, paying for them, getting weighed and measured and out the door! I think this will be ok for her because she's not one for group activities and she only has 1.5 stones to lose so I guess it won't take her too long.

Looked at shoes today in George at Asda - saw some lovely ones for £15 but I thought I'd better not in case my feet shrink.. THEN I came home and saw the post from Ameythist and I guess I was right not to buy shoes! When I think of all the gorgeous shoes I've sold on ebay because they were a bit small for me - ahhhh!

Anyway, off to do some housework - will burn off some calories before weigh in tonight!

Day 7 - weigh in tonight!

Well...here I am at day 7 and I THINK I'm on the right track now after my minor blip on Sunday. Eating that half a yorkshire pud has played on my mind so much, it's just not worth doing it again!

I bought Ketostix from a larger branch of Boots in Leeds yesterday and, according to them, I'm in ketosis so hopefully my weight loss will be even more than the 5.5lbs which I'd lost by Saturday. I can't say I'm noticing any difference with my clothes yet but that will come, I know it. I went into New Look yesterday lunchtime and was tempted to by some clothes but I thought 'what's the point, they will be way too big in a few weeks'. That was a fab feeling - I'm planning all my summer outfits and they DON'T include anything in a size 16 or 18. I was also tempted to buy some size 12 jeans but I didn't want to tempt fate, either ;-)

I'll post later to let you all know how I get on tonight. My session is 7pm - 9pm so it won't be until quite late. Fingers crossed for me, ladies and happy LLering today!

Karen

Day 6 part 2

I forgot to add that I tried to buy some Ketostix from Boots...she looked at me like I was asking for crack cocaine. Have now ordered them off the internet - the keyboard didn't bat an eyelid..

Day 6 and I have a confession

Whilst I was washing up after Dean and the kids' sunday dinner...I ate half a yorkshire pudding. I could've cried after I'd done it, although it was heavenly. I can't believe I let myself down like that. Now I'm dreading my weigh in tomorrow in case I've put weight on after my weight loss on Sat at the pop-in session! I didn't have my 4th pack yesterday to try and compensate for the fact that I ate the 1/2 yorkshire pud. I could cry today :-(

Anyway, I acknowledge that I fell off the wagon and that I am now back on it. It's so hard not to eat stuff! Weekends are by far the worst for me - I don't have that temptation at work so it's easy to keep on the LL plan. Why can't I just have the willpower to leave the food alone???!

Day 5

I have a feeling that weekends are going to be the worst for me. I don't have (much) food to tempt me at work but weekends are a completely different story. At the moment, Dean is cooking a chicken sunday dinner for him and the kids. I have been fantasising about one of his yorkshire puddings ever since I started on LL - they are melt in the mouth delicious. Oh well, I have to see the big picture - I'd rather be thin than have a yorkshire pud! I'm having real problems keeping up with the four litres a day because I don't drink water whilst I'm out in case I can't get to a toilet in time! How do you girls manage? Do you drink your quota of water at home?

I discovered the minimims forum the other night - the women on there are very nice and supportive and some of there before and after pics are amazing! I can't wait to post mine on there. I think I'm going to get dean to take some pics of me in a bikini (yuck) so I can do my before and after when I'm finished!

My mum went to see my LLC on Saturday morning - she was gutted to be told that she wasn't fat enough to go on the LL diet. Now...most people would be happy to be told that they are not fat enough but she was quite upset. She saw LL as a way of losing the weight fast and motivating her to keep it off. She has bid on some LL packets on ebay - I hope they are the real thing...quite worrying really.

I've only told my mum and dean about me doing the LL diet - I don't want any negative comments about it - I've had enough of those during my life about my weight so I don't want anyone to interfere with my positive thoughts at the moment!

Onwards and upwards girls! :-)

Day 4

I went for my pop-in session today - I thought I'd be able to get some bars but my counsellor said no...not until my Tuesday session. I did, however, swap some of my thai chilli food packs because they are my least favourite. Anyway, the counsellor asked if I wanted to get weighed...I was in two minds whether to do so because I don't FEEL like I've lost weight. I put my own scales out of my mind as soon as I started this diet because I become obsessed with them any time I start a diet. So..I got weighed. And since my diet started on Weds, I've lost 5.5lbs! I was really happy with that.

One lady was there for her saturday meeting and she said to me - don't give up, this weight loss programme is amazing. I asked how much she had lost and in eight weeks she's lost 3.5 stones. Unreal!

After the high of this morning, the day got worse. I'm really craving food. It was made worse by the fact that we went to Costco and there were loads of croissants, cakes etc - carb heaven really. Of course I didn't have anything but I was STARVING and it was 14.30 until we got home. I hadn't had a food pack or water (I know, v naughty) since before 10am this morning. I forgot to take a bottle of water with me - that won't happen again, for sure! Then when we got in Dean cooked burgers for him and the kids - I was desperate for a bite but I didn't - he wouldn't let me anyway. I hope I get over the craving for real food soon because I just feel like stuffing my face right now!

Day 3 - pm

Still going well...however, I am craving an indian meal this evening as Friday is our traditional 'indian' night. My boyfriend will still be having his and gawd, it will be hard watching him tucking in as I LOVE indian food! (actually, I love most take away food....). He had a KFC last night and I wasn't tempted by that, but indian....Actually, I wonder why he doesn't look as fat as me because he eats WAY more crap than I do. He has fish and chips every Friday at work and then an indian on Friday night. Hmmm maybe he has a super fast metabolism or something. He isn't skinny but he doesn't seem to have put much weight on during our relationship but I've put on more than 2 stones!

I'm feeling a bit fed up right now and it's for a pathetic reason. Dean (that's my boyfriend) has gone to pick up his daughter from his ex (45 mins away by car) and I suggested he take my daughter as she absolutely ADORES his daughter so they can chat in the car etc. He said 'ooh Mischa (my daughter) will have to go into Tina's (his ex) so she'll meet her for the first time'. That peed me off - we've been together for almost 18 months and I still feel insecure of her. She's 10 years younger than me and, of course, slimmer. I know that losing weight will give me more confidence in myself and hopefully in my relationship - it's crap isn't it? Dean loves me to bits but I still have a nagging feeling that I'm not as good as she is, which is daft. She's as thick as two short planks but I guess some men don't look for intelligence in a woman - more whether they pass the 'pencil' test. I can't even pass the pencil CASE test at the moment!!! I don't think Dean is one of those men - he still finds me attractive and all that but I don't FEEL attractive right now. I think our sex life has definitely gone down hill since I gained weight - I can't wait to be back to my old self (and then some!).

This has turned into a right old moan - sorry for those that are reading...! Does LL make you analyse things more? Nah...that's just me. I'm SO glad I decided to start blogging - it's definitely helpful to write down my thoughts rather than keeping them in. I'll read this back one day and think 'what a wuss I was back then!'.

Have a great Friday night everybody (although I know none of us will be out getting drunk tonight!).

Day 3

I'm still alive and I still haven't cheated - this must be the first diet I haven't cheated on, honestly. I know it's only been 3 days but I feel ok - no obvious side effects yet. I was feeling headachey last night but it's gone now. I doubt i'm in ketosis yet, though. Another thing - I haven't had a poo since Tuesday (too much info??) - I'm drinking my 4 litres, sometimes more so I don't know why I haven't been to the loo. If I don't go by the end of today, I'll take a laxative.

I made my raspberry shake with ice in the blender this morning - what a difference that made! No lumps and it was quite palatable with it being colder. I think I can cope...!

Good luck to all the other LLers I'm discovering :-)

Day 2 - afternoon

I doubt I'll keep up with the two posts a day but I'll do it until I don't have time at work ;-)

So..afternoon of my second day and I'm not (yet) suffering most of the side effects apart from weeing loads. I don't have a headache yet (maybe cos I'm still on the black coffee?) or feel grumpy or tired. I'm surprised that I don't feel bad yet but I think it'll probably start happening in days 3-5 according to the stuff I've read.

I had the chicken pack at 1ish and with pepper, it tastes like real soup. I'm amazed really. My daughter and mum have been around me today eating chocolate and jaffa cakes! It wasn't that torturous but I can tell I stared at the choc for too long, like some kind of chocolate pervert! My mum is also overweight and she's going to start LL soon - she has her intro session on Saturday. She only has around 2 stones to lose but she's like me, unless she sees a quick result she won't carry on.

Day 2

Well, here I am on day 2 and I can't believe I actually got through day 1! I didn't feel hungry at all - what a shock. I did, however, have about 100 trips to the loo! I hope that stops soon. I was tempted to have a spoonful of my daughters spag bol but I resisted - can't believe I was strong enough to do that. I guess the thought of being thin and happy stopped me. I really believe I can do this diet. I had the thai chilli, chicken and mushroom packs yesterday and they were all ok - better with a little pepper.

I've been having the raspberry one for my breakfast - still not keen on that but I drink it, all the same.

I don't think my boyfriend likes this diet already. We usually eat together and we love cooking and going out for meals. I told him we'll just have to think of other things to do! The packs aren't forever and hopefully be the end of my foundation I'll be reeducated about food and not go rushing off to make my famous 'crisp dinner' ie nachos, cheese, sour cream, guacamole - all that bad stuff!

I wonder if anyone will read this blog?

OK..I know I've only been out of bed since 6.15am and it's now 13.25 but guess what, I feel ok! I was expecting to feel ravenous and desperate to chomp on food but I haven't. I had the thai chilli food pack for lunch and although it was bland, it wasn't too bad. I've had 3 pints of water so far today - gawd knows how I will manage 8 - I must've had 10 wees already today! Please tell me that my bladder control will improve! I'm not very busy at work at the moment, hence having time to blog and update you on my toilet trips.

Anyway, half a day gone and feeling positive that this will work and I'll be thin in months :-)

Day 1 - 14st 2lb

Last night I attended my first LL class. The LL counsellor asked why I came to LL and what I wanted to achieve. Now, I could waffle on for ages about how unhappy my weight makes me, how unhappy I am at the fact that I can't stick to a diet for toffee and how much happier I'd be if I could slip into a size 12 frock instead of size 18 black trousers! Anyway, I gave her a rough overview of that and I guess it's pretty much the same as everyone else's reasons.

This morning I had a pint of water (must remember to tick it off in my book) and a raspberry food pack. Not the tastiest thing on the planet, but I think I can cope with it. I was dreading the food packs tasting gross but my first one was ok. I think the think I'll find hardest is not physically chewing food for the first week (no bars on week 1) - that will be weird. I might end up swapping a few of my savoury food packs for the raspberry one as I only ordered 5 - that was a bit daft because I can't imagine having a soup for my first meal of the day. Ah well - I'll get the hang of it all soon!

Wish me luck :-)

Here is a pic of me on hol in Feb 2007 - I hope to post smaller me pics during my time blogging!