Still going well...however, I am craving an indian meal this evening as Friday is our traditional 'indian' night. My boyfriend will still be having his and gawd, it will be hard watching him tucking in as I LOVE indian food! (actually, I love most take away food....). He had a KFC last night and I wasn't tempted by that, but indian....Actually, I wonder why he doesn't look as fat as me because he eats WAY more crap than I do. He has fish and chips every Friday at work and then an indian on Friday night. Hmmm maybe he has a super fast metabolism or something. He isn't skinny but he doesn't seem to have put much weight on during our relationship but I've put on more than 2 stones!
I'm feeling a bit fed up right now and it's for a pathetic reason. Dean (that's my boyfriend) has gone to pick up his daughter from his ex (45 mins away by car) and I suggested he take my daughter as she absolutely ADORES his daughter so they can chat in the car etc. He said 'ooh Mischa (my daughter) will have to go into Tina's (his ex) so she'll meet her for the first time'. That peed me off - we've been together for almost 18 months and I still feel insecure of her. She's 10 years younger than me and, of course, slimmer. I know that losing weight will give me more confidence in myself and hopefully in my relationship - it's crap isn't it? Dean loves me to bits but I still have a nagging feeling that I'm not as good as she is, which is daft. She's as thick as two short planks but I guess some men don't look for intelligence in a woman - more whether they pass the 'pencil' test. I can't even pass the pencil CASE test at the moment!!! I don't think Dean is one of those men - he still finds me attractive and all that but I don't FEEL attractive right now. I think our sex life has definitely gone down hill since I gained weight - I can't wait to be back to my old self (and then some!).
This has turned into a right old moan - sorry for those that are reading...! Does LL make you analyse things more? Nah...that's just me. I'm SO glad I decided to start blogging - it's definitely helpful to write down my thoughts rather than keeping them in. I'll read this back one day and think 'what a wuss I was back then!'.
Have a great Friday night everybody (although I know none of us will be out getting drunk tonight!).
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About Me
- Karen
- I'm a 34 year old Yorkshire lass who lives in Pontefract with my partner of 18 months and my daughter from a previous relationship. I've lived away from Yorkshire for years and only moved back about 2.5 years ago - I wish I'd never left! Oh..and the reason I'm writing this blog is because I'm a fatty who is starting her journey to become a thinny!
3 comments:
Does LL make you analyse things more?? God yes!! It's all we do! Well, not quite but that is the point of it. You've got all this time not eating to think about your life and why you ate in the first place and what you can do to make it better and not eat when you get back to food. It's one big psychiatrist's couch round here.
I don't think you ever stop feeling insecure but losing weight certainly means you're a lot less insecure. Just try to hold onto the fact that your insecurities are yours alone - they are not what Dean is thinking - they are just what you think he might be thinking when you're feeling a bit crap. It's not the same thing. He'd probably be horrified!
Have a great no-curry, no-booze weekend - it can be done, honest!!
Hi Karen, the thing is because we are not eating we are finding things to do to pass the time to stop us thinking of food!! We clean, tidy, exercise and spend hours on our blog and catching up on everyone elses blog. Weight has an awful lot to answer for but all you can do is be yourself, the nice inside will shine throu.
Know what you mean about Friday night Indian night, Traditionally in our house on Fridays it is Take away, Superleague and beer!! Oh well Its not killing me!!!
Oh the joy of an Indian - my daughter and her boyfriend ordered one this evening and guess which too soft mum even took them to pick it up ... my car smelt so good I could have ate it! My hubby's much the same, he can eat anything and though he's now in his winter overweight phase it'll all be gone again by summer ...and that's with him carrying on eating too.
Re the analysing = well that is just part of Lighter Life I think. You do it in group, you do it on your own as homework from your green book and you also just do it naturally. I go to sleep thinking of diets, LL , what if I lose...., how long....., what if....and I wake up with the same thoughts still running through my head.
One thing before I go though - Dean is with you because he wants to be with you - don't let yourself forget that xx
Cath
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